Posted by: purityseekers | September 12, 2006

Re: Negative anti-spanking comment…

     I recently got a negative comment on my blog from someone who is against spanking.  I just wanted to post about this after deleting her comment.  For those who may not have seen it… I will be posting quotes as I comment on each of her remarks.

     If you read this, Kim, I first want to tell you about myself.  I do not know you or your belief…but I am a Christian who loves my awesome God who created me and my children and I live by His word.  I do not live for the world and their opinions… I live for God.  That being said… I will comment on your post.

     You started out by saying "Your "Boot-camp" has made me sick to my stomach. Why should your children suffer because you failed as a parent? Grow up and stop hitting your children." Kim, we all fail as parents at one time or another off and on throughout our children’s lives.  Anyone who says they don’t is deceiving themselves.  SO… when I realize that I AM failing my children… I need to take positive action and get my focus in the right direction.  Christ is that direction.  Not Oprah, not Dr. Phil, not Nanny 911… but Christ.  In His word I find all the guidance I need to assure my children will grow into wonderful adults.  I do not "hit" my children… I biblically chastise my children.  There is an absolute difference.  I do not abuse them… I train them.  I never do it in anger and I never laugh at them or demean them.  In my post I commented using a "LOL" as you wrote about… but that was just for adult reading and was never put forward to my child.  You wrote "You seem to take some perverted pleasure in hitting your children. I do not this is right to "LOL" when you "finish the job" spanking your child. If you do choose to hit your children you would think you would do it with a heavy heart." What I was commenting on was the fact that my son went in to be disciplined… took down his own pants and was playing that he was spanking himself and cracking up laughing about it. (which I find VERY cute…but still had to take it seriously and not let him see I found it funny!) I do not take this lightly.  What I was saying is that he was not laughing anymore after the spank.  That is just truth.  If my kids laughed after disciplining them, and I allowed it…THAT would be failing them!  So… I did not laugh at him… I said "this is not funny… you need a spanking" and I spanked him and he did not like it, of course, and then he said he was sorry with a heavy heart. (because HE is the one that is supposed to have the heavy heart… I have to be the adult and know that it is best for him.  I don’t LOVE to do it… I am commanded to do it and after seeing the positive results through the years… I just submit to my Lord and do it.  I have not allowed myself to feel pity because that would just end up causing me to stop training them appropriately and then I would REALLY fail them.  Then they would end up growing up like the majority of kids these days do… rude, misguided, disrespectful, lost, drug users, alcoholics, angry, lazy, violent, etc… because no one cared enough to train them properly because of their "heavy hearts" and the need to try "gently discipline" and coddle their kids).   I am not saying that all kids end up like this… but I can rest assured that if I train my children up the way the Lord commands… then they WILL succeed.  If I get all squishy with them then I am setting them up for failure.

     God’s word says in Proverbs 22:15 that "foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him."  and in Proverbs 22:6-7 "Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it."  God even says in Proverbs 13:24 that "he who SPARES the rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently" Proverbs 19:18 says "Discipline your son while there is hope, and do not desire his death".  I am a Christian, Kim.  One of my main goals for my life is raising my children and train them as best as I can so that they can grow up to be adults that can submit to God because HIS discipline is tougher than ANY discipline that I could give them.  I desire their salvation… not their death and eternal ****ation.  (homeschool blogger’s blocked out the first part of the word but I am sure you know what it says) I desire them to live a joyful life in Christ… not a life in the world that is empty and dark.  Satan would desire for me to leave God’s word and follow the world’s advice.

     Proverbs 3: 5-6 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 1:32&33 says "the waywardness of the naive shall kill them, and the complacency of fools shall destroy them.  BUT he who listens to me shall live securely, and shall be at ease from the dread of evil."  That is my desire… to lean on Christ and not myself or the world’s understanding of things… and for my children to be raised to be broken of their foolishness so that they can be mature and strong adults in Christ. 

     Of all the healthy families that I have seen truly seeking God in their discipline and doing it biblically… the children grow to be so incredibly thankful for the love their parents had for them to truly care enough to train them right!  My children have never acted hateful towards me… but thankful and loved.  After a spank they don’t look at me with hate… but look at me with sorrow in their hearts for going against me.  They desire to please me and they desire to be guided.  Even as little as their are… although they may not realize it…  they want that discipline.

     You also said "Four spanks at a time?" and that you wouldn’t treat an animal like that.  My children are foolish… animals are foolish.  I do not beat my children… and I would not beat an animal.  BUT… a spank is different.  I WOULD repeatedly (as animal trainers DO) spank my children with swift spanks UNTIL they submit.  You wouldn’t swat your horse twice and stop if they continued to buck and kick and be foolish and wild!  You would continue (or a good trainer would continue…) to swat them until they calmed down and submitted to their trainer.  My children are WAY more important than any animal… that is why I am not a vegetarian and am very thankful for a nice, big, fat baked chicken to eat!  My children are future heirs to the throne of God… so that makes them even MORE important to train up right!  You said "It is not just a swat, but repeatedly hitting your child."  You really do not know what it is like because you have never been in my bathroom when I discipline.  My friends, however, have "heard" my discipline (I would never humiliate my children to spank them in front of people).  I calmly say "you need a spanking… go to the bathroom".  You would hear two little quick swats and usually they don’t even make a peep… it just gets their attention.  If they say they are "sorry" then that’s it…I forgive them and we move on.  BUT… if they act defiant and say something like "NO…I won’t say I’m sorry"…then I calmly swat them 2 more quick swats on their fannies and just continue calmly until they break their wills and look at me and say "I’m sorry, Mom".  We hug and I say things like "you cannot act that way… I wish I never had to spank you… but if you are going to be naughty you need consequences for your actions.  God tells me to teach you to not do things to hurt or be disrespectful and I need to obey God.  Someday this will help YOU obey God quickly so He won’t discipline you."  ***Dr

   Kim (and all those who also do not agree with me)… I love my children and love the Lord.  I am a Christian and I am very aware that many people do not believe in God’s word…but I do.  I have also known many people who DO believe in God and in Christ coming to save us… BUT they will fight other areas of God’s word and I find that very sad.  To say you believe in God’s word…but to take His word out of context or to say you don’t believe in some of it…that is not truly believing in God’s word.  

     Hebrews 12:2&3 says that we need to fix "our eyes on Jesus, the auther and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you may not grow weary and lose heart."  I will never allow anyone that does not follow God’s word to cause me to "lose heart".  I love my Lord and my children too much for that. Verse 11 says "ALL discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness".  Amen to that!!

     Prayers are going out to all those who need their eyes and hearts to be open.  I am so joyful knowing that my children have the best opportunities to grow up and have that "peace" that God speaks of in Philippians 4:7 "and the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  

     God is good, isn’t He???  It doesn’t matter what anyone says to me about their view of how I raise my children… I just rest in the assurance that I truly CAN "do all things through Him who strengthens me".  (Phil. 4:13)

     May God bless all of you who also strive to be more godly everyday and who love their children SO much they are willing to put the effort into biblically training up their children!  You will all be blessed as you see your children mature and grow in the love of Christ!  I am SO glad Kim posted that comment because it gave me a good reason to post about this issue!

     OK…I am off to continue to "run this race with endurance" (Hebrews 12:1)!!!! (it’s Boot Camp Day #5!!!!) I thank God for showing me that we ARE soldiers of Christ and that what my family needs is that "Boot Camp type training" to get in line and ready to continue to fight this battle in a world foreign to us!!!    

     In Christ, B

      

 

 

 

 

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Responses

  1. I just wanted you to know I was a spanked child. My parents used to say they spanked us because they loved us, and I figured that they loved me the most 😉 I was the oldest of 7 children and have been writing about my Alaskan homestead childhood. (There are more stories in the archives). It is perhaps significant that not one of the 7 children ever had accidents or injuries there in the sticks, where there could be dangers lurking everywhere. That little switch kept us all under our parents protection. We knew they weren’t just spanking because they could or because they wanted to spoil our fun. We knew the reason for it was that they were guarding us. there were other homesteaders whose children did not fare as well, because they would not discipline, but “reasoned.” One child drowned in his own lake and others had serious problems.

  2. Thank you for your very well stated post about spanking. I have the same view as you, and find myself having to ‘defend’ it often. You were well stated and articluate, and I was ready to take notes so I can respond in love to the people who take offense at my discipline methods! Great job, and thank you!

  3. I LOVE your spanking reply. Sadly, I fear it will fall on the deaf ears of your critics. God warns us that wisdom is foolishness to those who are perishing. Although we cannot judge another’s salvation, Jesus does advise that we will know them by their fruit. If Jesus is the Word made flesh, and person rejects all or part of the Word, how then can they be saved? God is clear about the need for corporal disciple, and those of us who use it know the truth of its benefits.

    Spanking does not hurt children, anger does. Whether we couple a spank or just a scowl with anger, it can be damaging to our children. When we deal with them in anger, we demonstrate a lack of control, and that is hurtful to our children. Unbridled anger is shaming, demeaning and scarring to our children. Yet we all stumble at times, and from reading your reply, it’s obvious that you are willing to take ownership of your own mistakes. It’s also clear that you strive to deal with your children in love and not anger.

    So kudos to you!

    By the way…your blog looks great! I can’t wait to dig around in it. I’m very new to blogging, but I can see that your site has some great ideas to offer fellow bloggers.

    Thanks for all your effort.

    Jenni

  4. That was a very well thought response. I wholeheartedly agree with you. Myself and my older sister were spanked as children, the younger five of my sisters and brother were not spanked because of certain circumstances. Wow, the differences between us are amazing. They are very much out of control. I know that there are other ways to discipline that do work for SOME children but not for most. I too love my children VERY much and do agree with spanking. A few months back I made a post about the “attack” on the Pearls, boy did I recieve the “heat” on that….. Well, anyways, I commend you for standing up for what you believe in 🙂


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